


Up In The Breeze

by sonus



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Background Relationships, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slice of Life, Temporarily Unrequited Love, background seunglix, hyunlix date for a second, some other bg ships if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25961161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonus/pseuds/sonus
Summary: It all starts when Minho is twelve and Hyunjin is ten.Then it goes on for years and years of bad timing and missed chances.Minho both hates and loves it and he just hopes it will never end.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 11
Kudos: 111
Collections: Summer Solstice 2020





	Up In The Breeze

**Author's Note:**

  * For [00line](https://archiveofourown.org/users/00line/gifts).



> Hello, welcome to this...something.
> 
> To my prompter, i hope you will like my take at the second prompt about the childhood friends. I managed to squeeze both ships in there so thats nice.
> 
> Biggest thanks as always to my squad, you know who you are, especially to the one person who read over this once too many times.
> 
> Also the biggest, biggest thanks to my soulmate who suffered thru an 11h sprint for me. This would not exist without you.

Minho meets Hyunjin when he is twelve the younger is ten.

"Hey Minho, you know Hyunjin? He says he wants to join the science club," that day Seungmin, who Minho has known since they were in diapers, appears in their favorite spot to spend the breaks in with a person he doesn't recognize.

The boy that's standing next to Seungmin's tall figure is smaller and looks about ready to burst if talked to the wrong way. Minho almost wants to smile.

Almost.  
"I don't," he says instead, and Hyunjin shifts uncomfortably next to Seungmin. "What do you know about science?"

It's like the words are a trigger that switches something inside the younger. Hyunjin steps out from behind Seungmin and Minho's friends turns around in confusion. It seems he didn't expect to see this side if Hyunjin too, have thought he is bringing a shy kid to Minho to maybe be crushed under his cold stare.

"A lot actually," Hyunjin's eyes sparkle and his whole face lights up. It's a completely different person now and Minho is taken aback by the change. "It's my favorite subject."

Minho is so shocked by the way Hyunjin acts at that moment that he unknowingly lets his guard down.

He lets Hyunjin into his life and there's no going back from that.

🍃🍃🍃

Over the years Seungmin introduces lots of people to Minho but somehow none of them really stick around.

Later down the line, Minho wonders if it had anything to do with how forward he can be or maybe he was a scary kid. Seungmin says he was ruthless at times.

Either way, Hyunjin is the first person to stick around long enough to get to know Minho.

"What do you think about dancing?" Minho asks one day when it's just the two of them on the old and overused carpet on his room's floor. He doesn't bring up the topic during one of their sleepovers but now because he has already tried this conversation with Seungmin and it turns out the younger isn't interested. His best friend prefers singing.

"Dancing?" Hyunjin tilts his head to the side as if he will find some hidden meaning of Minho's words this way. "As if ballet or—"

Minho sighs and grabs his phone. He moves closer to his younger friend and in his hurry to find the perfect video to show off all the things Hyunjin should _definitely_ see he misses the way Hyunjin's face heats up.

"No! Like this," Minho presses play and they both sit in complete silence for the next three and half minutes, eyes glued to the screen.

The look Hyunjin gives Minho after the video finishes is something the older will never forget. It looks like a sky full of stars caged in the face of twelve year old.

It's the same look Hyunjin will later throw his way without Minho realizing until it's too late for anything but words of regret.

For now, though, all the heartbreak is too far away in the future. In that moment, Hyunjin falls in love with dancing, not Minho.

"Hyung," Hyunjin's voice is quiet at the start but it picks up both speed and volume as he continues. "I want to be able to do it too."

"Right," Minho smiles down at the younger. "Me too."

They set up a temporary studio in Minho's room that day and practice.

Neither of them has any idea if what they are doing but by the end of the night, Hyunjin looks at Minho, stars back in his eyes, and says something that will get the older through times of doubt later on.

"I think you are a natural hyung."

Oh, if only it was as easy as that.

🍃🍃🍃

The realization that not only making friends isn't easy but so isn't dancing comes slowly and then all at once.

One day Minho and Hyunjin are practicing in the darkness of their rooms and the next they are barely standing before their new dance teacher at the start of high school. Minho feels a sharp stab of pain in his left knee and he grimaces, head down so no one can see it.

"You two have no technique whatsoever. I don't know if we can do anything about it," Minho shuts his eyes tight and wills the tears away. Then he turns his head slightly to check on Hyunjin. The younger's head is raised high, his gaze focused at the teacher before them. He is barely standing from the harsh training too.

"We can make it," he says in an unwavering voice. "We _will_ make it."

Minho lifts his head to check the reaction. Part of him feels bad for letting Hyunjin fall in love with dancing only to have this love crushed because of his own stupidity.

"Okay," Mr. Kim says and nods once. "You will practice with Taemin two times a week, once alone and the rest with the others. You are determined at least."

" _At least_ ," Minho murmurs under his breath. That's what it all comes down too.

No matter how hard Minho likes to pretend dancing is the only part of his life that matters there's more to it, unfortunately.

One day it's him and Hyunjin getting scolded by the dance teacher, the next its Seungmin passing the vocal team auditions.

One day it's only Minho, Hyunjin, and Seungmin at their table in the cafeteria, the next there are four more people.

Seungmin meets Jeongin on the vocal team. The younger isn't the same kind of case as Hyunjin was back in the day. He doesn't come into Minho's life with his head bowed down shyly, tracking Seungmin's steps, oh no, Jeongin marches into it with a huge smile on his face and Seungmin complaining about 'Jeongin being not welcomed'. It turns out Jeongin is _is more than welcomed_ and Seungmin can't do anything about it.

Then comes Jisung in form of Hyunjin missing practice because he needs to stay after class and Minho finds him and Han Jisung in detention for fighting during breaks.

"Hyunjin," Minho squats before his friend and completely ignores the other boy. "You can't fight people, the trainer will have your head."

Hyunjin just nods, hands drawing in the dust on the floor.

"I know but—"

"Don't you dare say _I_ started it," Jisung gives them both a stinky eye but the venom in his gaze when he focuses on Hyunjin is too much and Minho has to laugh. "Do you want to fight too?"

Minho shakes his head.

And somehow that's how Jisung joins their group even if he and Hyunjin stay 'enemies' for almost a year after the incident.

Changbin's appearance doesn't have a tragic or funny backstory so Minho's brain just slowly forgets how the older boy has joined them. One day they don't know Changbin, the next he is chasing Jeongin around and calling him 'Innie' in a cute voice.

Minho wonders if that's what first crushes are like.

The last person to join their group changes a lot of things.

Chan is a born leader and the most helpful of them all so his arrival is appreciated.

Chan comes into their life suddenly, head full of ideas that captivate the hearts of Jisung and Changbin. The three of them form a producing crew and soon enough the seven of them are sitting around and making their own beats, joking how one day they would make a perfect song and choreography to it.

"Chan hyung, Changbin hyung, and Ji will produce it, Innie and Minnie should sing and," Hyunjin looks around with the familiar stars in his eyes until his gaze finally stops at Minho. "And me and Minho hyung can dance."

Jeongin nods vigorously and Chan laughs at the enthusiasm of the youngest member of their group.

Sometimes Minho wonders if it was Chan who has come into their lives or maybe they are the ones who invaded Chan's.

Their small group makes him happy so much it's almost unreal and when he gets a side glance from Seungmin and a 'you look suspiciously happy' he just laughs.

"I'm glad we found each other," he says as they fall together, bruised knees and gritted teeth and all. "I think I needed it."

"I think we all did," Seungmin says as they smile, celebrate their success and birthdays with laughter and balloons. "Our own little family."

Minho will be forever grateful that growing up is not something he had to do alone.

🍃🍃🍃

Friends are family and all that bullshit fits the narrative well until it's time for their annual side and seek game.

There are no allies here, well, unless you are ready to betray or be betrayed at the first given situation.

Minho is always ready to get stabbed in the back and that's probably why he finds himself hiding in a treehouse in his backyard on the first day of holidays before his final year of high school with Hyunjin of all people. Of all people, because the younger is the tallest of them all even if not by much and trying to somehow sit comfortably in the small space while Jisung tries to catch them is closer to torture than to fun.

"Why are we together again?" Minho cast a glance at his friend who is visibly struggling so much more than he is. It might have even been funny if not for the sound of steps outside and the burning need to win.

It has been far too long since he has even made it into the top three.

"Because I'm probably the only person who will not betray you?" Hyunjin asks a little bit too loudly and Minho reaches forward to cover his mouth with a hand.

"Shh," he whispers, warm breath ghosting Hyunjin's cheek. Minho tries to move away before continuing but there's no use. "I think there's someone outside."

Normally, the treehouse would be the worst place to hide but their hide and seek includes sneaking around so it's fine as long as they can find the perfect time to escape. Or one of them escapes sacrificing the other to the seeker.

Minho looks at Hyunjin who gives him a questioning look. What the younger has said is true and Minho knows it all too well. Even if his longest-lasting friendship is with Seungmin, Minho knows Minnie would sell him out to Jisung just for the fun of it. Hyunjin is different. Can Minho really take advantage of it?

Well, it's just a game of hide and seek, isn't it?

"Maybe it's not Jisung," Hyunjin mumbles. Both of them know that's not true. No one walks around that casually during the game. Maybe apart from Jeongin but the youngest of the group acts insane sometimes.

They sit in silence for a few minutes before there's a scream outside and it sounds like Changbin.

Minho closes his eyes and smirks as the voices get more distant with each second. At first, Changbin's whining and Jeongin's laugh can be heard clearly and Minho even catches a glimpse of the youngest red hair through the crack in the door. Jeongin has probably just done what Minho was planning on if Changbin hasn't shown up: he set the older up.

"Well, there goes our problem but I think we should change locations. _Separately_."

Hyunjin nods for yes. He might not be as victory oriented as Minho and Jeongin but no one likes to just lose the annual game.

"Yeah, no way I'm staying with you so that you can use me later on. Our paths separate here."

Minho snorts indignantly at the words and opens the doors carefully.

It's almost completely dark outside, last strikes of red across the sky slowly disappearing to leave space for a chill summer night. It has been about two hours since the game has started and they are at their fifth shift of seekers now that Changbin has been caught. But there's still a long way to go. Their time limit is the sunrise.

As they carefully make their way through the dark Minho looks for a good place to hide for now. There's no way he will be able to finish the night without being caught at least once, there was only one time someone managed it and Jeongin still refuses to share how he did it. The most important part is to break out of the 'I'm no longer the seeker but I won't be able to get far before he catches me again probably' curse.

It might be smarter to be the seeker now than later. Minho looks to Hyunjin.

"Go your way already," he whispers loud enough so the younger will hear him.

Hyunjin doesn't more and instead looks over Minho's shoulder with wide eyes. For s second Minho considers turning around but he can pretty much guess what he would see. Changbin must have seen them escaping while seeking revenge on Jeongin.

"Shit," he whispers under his breath and there's a second when his gaze meets Hyunjin's and Minho can tell the younger feels sorry for what he is about to do before he takes off running.

Leaving Minho in the dust.

"Ha! Caught!" comes Changbin's voice but Minho barely pays attention to it.

"Hwang Hyunjin you're _next_ ," he says with a smirk on his face before turning around and running into the night.

Hyunjin ends up being the last seeker. Minho still doesn't win but he is satisfied with his second-place this time.

🍃🍃🍃

Working together with Hyunjin is so natural that by the time they get good enough in basic stuff and the trainer wants to join regular practice they both agree to continue their privet sessions.

"You want to work on your competition piece as a duo?" The teacher asks and Minho doesn't even think about it before he nods. "Submit your song ideas by the end of the week."

They both nod eagerly.

The song choosing part turns out to be easier than expected, Hyunjin's head full of ideas and with Minho's additional notes they manage to narrow it down to a few choices fast.

"Growl could highlight our teamwork," Hyunjin scribbles something under his already long notes. "Hard Carry would let us show off our powerful moves."

Minho nods along, both choices good ideas that they can work with; they have even worked with EXO's Overdose before.

"And Spring Day..." Hyunjin smiles. "I think it's a good idea because it lets us both show our unique styles while also making us synchronized. It can be moving if we play our cards correctly. Also, I know you like their songs."

Minho blinks.

"Spring Day..." he mumbles.

Hyunjin nods and gets up.

"Yeah, I think that's the one too."

Minho gets up from the floor and tosses his water bottle to the sidelines. He can feel determination filling him and adrenaline rushes through his veins as Hyunjin joins him to watch the choreography video on Minho's phone. Their shoulders bump and Hyunjin's towel falls down. When the younger bends to pick it up Minho spots redness on his neck.

It's probably the lightning coming from the slowly setting sun. Minho turns away and tries to commit the moves on his tiny screen to memory. This shouldn't be too hard if they try hard enough.

🍃🍃🍃

Turns out Minho is wrong.

The perfect harmony and synchronization that Hyunjin has talked about seem like a faraway concept by the end of the first day of practice. 

They practice and practice but it takes days for them to start getting things the way they are supposed to be.

"Just like that!" Minho laughs at the wide smile on Hyunjin's face as he throws his hands high into the air in a gesture of victory. "That's not a part of the choreography."

Hyunjin lets out a laugh and collapses on the floor in the middle of the dance floor and Minho almost trips over him on the way to the water bottles. When he loses balance he doesn't fight it and lets gravity finish its job. His last reflect before hitting the ground is shifting so that he won't injure himself too much, that would be the worst timing for broken hands or swollen knees.

"Hyung! Are you hurt!?" Hyunjin's face changes from happy to worried in a split second and it reminds Minho of the first time they have met. He can't help but laugh at the concern on his friend’s face. Like this, with their moves finally making sense and stress of the past few days leaving his body Minho feels truly...

"Invincible."

"I'm pretty sure you're not," Hyunjin stops in his track, in the middle of the distance separating them and raises a single eyebrow. "Did you hurt your head?"

Minho tries to keep his face calm but the expression on Hyunjin's face is just too much and he soon erupts into laughter. His hand connects with Hyunjin's shoulder in a playful gesture and the younger smirks too.

"No stupid," Minho gets out when he finally manages to catch his breath. "For a moment here I just felt invisible."

Hyunjin blinks down at him.

They end up winning their first competition as a duo.

🍃🍃🍃

Over the years Minho and Hyunjin win multiple competitions. They perform dark songs, light ones, powerful choreography, and even to romantic music even though that one makes Hyunjin stumble over his own feet more than the others.

He smiles each time as people hand him the awards which he later puts in his desk, never looking at them. He is not a big fan of the whole 'I look at all my trophies whenever I'm sad' thing. Or just looking at then in general. The only one he keeps on his desk is the first one they won.

Jeongin wiggles his eyebrow each time his eyes lay on it. Seungmin teases him about it sometimes.

Which is fine because no matter how much he enjoys dancing and winning and the thrill he feels just after the music finishes and no one reacts yet, that few seconds of silence before the audience erupts, nothing has ever felt as good as that first victory.

Minho has an inkling Hyunjin feels the same.

"Minho!" the voice of their trainer sounds too loud in the empty corridors of the backstage.

They are at one of the last competitions of his high school career and although Hyunjin has one more year to go Minho's brain has already planned out a future for them. Worldwide knows champions or maybe owners of a famous dance school.

It all comes crashing down at that moment.

"What is it?" He asks before he can reflect on who he is speaking too but his teacher doesn't correct him. "Did something happen?"

For the first time in years, Minho sees their trainer smile.

"I've been informed that there were scouts from universities present at the competition today and one of them said they are interested in you."

Minho feels time freeze around him and the floor shake under his feet. Or maybe it's his knees.

"What?" he asks in a whisper. This is something he hasn't even dared to dream about.

"They want to offer you a one-year-long scholarship. In the US."

Minho doesn't have time to think before he is nodding against his better judgment.

" _I'm going to America_ ," he whispers.

🍃🍃🍃

"Are you _sure_ you have packed everything?" Seungmin's voice sounds a little bit odd on the phone and the signal keeps disappearing, probably between the trees and in the tunnels the younger crosses on his way back home. "God, why did the vocal club have to have the trip _now_ of all time."

"Is that Minho hyung!?" Comes a very mechanical voice that Minho assumes belongs to Jeongin. "Tell him not to leave without saying goodbye to us."

"He _won't do that_ , right Minho?" Seungmin's tone is so familiar that Minho feels almost as if his best friend was here with him instead in a car with both Jeongin and his parents to get back before his flight to San Francisco so that they can say their goodbyes.

"Of course I won't," he agrees without thinking. And he means it. He would never leave without hugging his best friends for the last time. Even if it's going to be just a year he will be away.

"Okay, then I have to hang up because _someone_ is trying to blow up my ears by playing music too loud and by _someone_ I mean _JEONGIN_ ," the last word is practically a scream as Seungmin fights to stay above the noise.

Minho thinks he can hear the newest Chan song in the background.

"I'll leave you to it then. Have fun," Minho clicks the end the call button without waiting for the response that would probably never come anyway considering how loud it must be on Seungmin's side of the line.

"Ah I wish Seungmin would stop acting like I'm _dying_ not just going away for a year," Minho lifts up his gaze to look at the only one of his friends who has convinced him to let him stay the whole night.

Hyunjin's eyes are a riddle that Minho can't decipher. That's unusual enough but Hyunjin also stays quiet the whole phone conversation and even later.

"You are weird," Minho frowns at the younger, a knot forming at the bottom of his stomach. "If I remember correctly _you_ are the one who insisted on staying over and now you're not even talking to me."

Hyunjin blinks and for a moment Minho can see the raw emotion in those familiar dark eyes. It disappears to fast for him to interpret it correctly so he doesn't even try.

"I guess I don't really know what to say," Hyunjin confesses. It doesn't make much sense considering it's only a _year_. It also doesn't make sense because it's _Hyunjin_.

"Not you too," Minho whines and moves closer. " _Stop acting like I'm dying_. Speak words to me, dancer boy."

For a second the room is completely silent and then Hyunjin erupts with laughter. Minho can feel the corners of his lips lifting up at the sight of his friend doubling over and almost crying. He watches tension escape Hyunjin's body and when the younger finally calms down there's a smile on his lips.

"You never call me that."

"New nickname," Minho counters and raises one brow, waiting for refusal but it never comes.

"I can't believe you hyung," Hyunjin says instead. "Why are you..."

Hyunjin never finishes and Minho wonders what the next words were meant to be.

Charming? Amazing? Irreplaceable? Or maybe something completely different.

It's hard to figure out Hyunjin's attentions both that night when Minho catches him writing something in the middle of the night on some scrap piece of paper and then the next day at the airport when most of the others are close to tears.

Hyunjin just stands there, away from the others, eyes never leaving Minho.

"Here," Minho's attention snaps back to his best friend and he looks down at a ball of paper that the younger is trying to put in his closed tightly fist. "Read it on the plane."

Minho lets his muscles relax and when the paper is safe in his palm he pauses for a moment. The slightly blueish color looks familiar. It's the same shade he has been writing his dance notes on and he knows Hyunjin has an identical textbook tucked safety into one of the pockets of his backpack. The same one the younger has with him today.

Minho remembers Hyunjin's figure in the dark and the light of his own phone lightning up the paper before him just enough to write.

He wonders if it really is the same piece of paper that he is now holding.

"I will," he says and Seungmin gives him a sad smile.

Minho places the small ball safely inside his front pocket while his friends crush him in a group hug. He tries to return it but it's hard to hug six people at once so he gives up fast and lets the others lead the way.

In the middle of the whole mess, no one notices a smile and the silent tears that start to fall from the corners of Minho's eyes. Or maybe Hyunjin does.

🍃🍃🍃

Minho remembers the lonely piece of paper in his pocket again when the sky starts getting dark and the stewardesses start turning the lights off for the night.

The darkness reminds him of Hyunjin somehow. The front pocket of his pants suddenly feels too full and he reaches in to recover the blue ball.

He stares at it in the dim lights of the emergency exit sights. Something tells Minho to stop for a moment and wonder just how much is changing around him all of a sudden.

The move to the US is such a big deal even if he likes to pretend otherwise and now this small piece of paper contains something that Hyunjin didn't want to say to his face.

"It can't be bad can it?" he mumbles to himself with a nervous smile and starts on the mission of unfolding the paper. Part of Minho feels anxious to see the words that Hyunjin has scribbled in the middle of the night.

Maybe the younger has hated him all along?

No, that's ridiculous, Minho shakes his head. No way Hyunjin would have stayed by his side all those years if it was hate he felt.

There's one very specific emotion as far away and as close to hate at the same time.

The word 'love' doesn't appear that many times on the note yet somehow it's the only thing Minho's brain can focus on.

The meaning behind the whole note can be summoned up and cut down to just to the last sentence of it.

' _I've been in love with you hyung for so long I don't think I can keep quiet anymore._ '

Minho doesn't know if he can keep quiet, too.

🍃🍃🍃

"It's been what, two weeks now?" Minho's voice sounds tired and he counts on the poor connection to hide it from Seungmin. "Have _you_ talked to him?"

Seungmin shifts on his bed and turns on the lamp on his bedside table so that Minho can actually see his face. Two weeks is not a long time but somehow since Minho left Korea Changbin has talked Seungmin into dyeing his hair pink and Jeongin talked him into letting _him_ be the one to do it.

Seungmin's pale pink hair is mixed with a silver dye that Jeongin had leftover from something else and even if Seungmin has complained to Minho the first time he showed off his new hair color the older knows he is happy with it.

Apparently Hyunjin got his hair bleached and dyed that day too but Minho wouldn't know. The younger hasn't picked up his phone yet.

"What do you mean, of course, I have talked to him," Seungmin opens a box of sweets and pops one into his mouth. Minho rolls his eyes.

"Yes, but about _me_ ," he tries even though it has never worked up until this point.

"I _told_ Hyunjin it was a bad idea."

"What, ignoring me? Or the confession?" Minho asks, his anger slowly building up. He knows it's not Seungmin's fault, it's him who fucked up, but he can't help it.

" _Both_ ," Seungmin sends him a pointed gaze. "I know you didn't mean it in a bad way but the message you sent him was kind of harsh hyung."

There it is.

The real reason why Hyunjin still hasn't talked to him. Well, of course, the whole confession is the base for it but if only Minho has stopped to _think_ or maybe if he has waited for it to be morning in Korea he would be talking to Hyunjin now. Or maybe not. Rejection hurts no matter if it's wrapped up in sweet words or just a short text saying 'I'm sorry. You are one of my best friends and I hope you know I care about you but I think that's all we can ever be."

"Do you think he will pick up eventually?" Minho asks instead.

"He will have to. He cares too much and besides, even if he doesn't he can't avoid you forever when you get back."

Minho nods and their conversation shifts to other topics, including Minho's stay in the US and the older describes the differences between people in his new temporary home and back in the real one while Seungmin listens eagerly. It's good to talk to someone who understands him fully and Minho is thankful for the short pause of neverending practices.

He ends the call with a smile on his face but it dissipates quickly when his thoughts wander back to the boy he has left with a broken heart.

Minho just hopes Seungmin is right.

🍃🍃🍃

It turns out, Seungmin is both right and wrong at the same time. Which is a running theme in Minho's life. Being right and wrong at the same time.

Hyunjin _does_ eventually pick up and Minho almost rolls off his bed when he hears the younger’s voice on the other end of the line.

It must be the middle of the night in Korea but Hyunjin doesn't sound tired at all and stays on the line for a few hours as they catch up. By the end of it Minho is close to forgetting they even stopped talking. Almost.

It takes Hyunjin half a year to be ready to talk.

Minho still gives him space and doesn't press when the older doesn't mention the confession for a few calls. And then when Hyunjin finally talks about it it sounds like he is healed almost completely and Minho listens carefully instead of talking.

He doesn't comment on how impossible he sounds from Hyunjin's perspective and how much the things Hyunjin thinks about his don't match his own image of himself.

What Hyunjin _doesn't_ do is welcome Minho at the airport when he flies back home.

The other five of his friends are more enthusiastic than ever when he shows up, hair all messy from the long journey and eyes half-closed from sleep.

Jeongin waves around a huge colorful banner around almost like it's a weapon. Seungmin has sent him pictures of it the night before with a caption 'got bullied into doing this with jiji by innie. you better like it'. Last night the big pink letters spelling 'WELCOME HOME MINHO' looked funny but today Minho almost cries at the sight of his friends. He blames the lack of sleep.

"Took you long enough to get off that plane. They announced you landed about an hour ago and Jeongin has been going ballistic since," Changbin gestures to the youngest who sticks his tongue out in return.

"Stop talking," Seungmin murmurs and it's all the warning Minho gets before his friends envelop him in a hug tight enough to break ribs.

"Guys," he gets out and laughs at how absurd this feels. "Guys I can't breathe."

There's a few 'yes's but no one lets go and Minho just sighs. He can clearly remember almost the same scene from one year ago. He did cry last year and now, when he finally feels at home under squeezed between five boys who are his family after long months of not belonging, he does again. Except for this time around it isn't silent tears streaming down his cheeks when no one can see them. It's full-on sobs now.

"Hyung?" Jisung's voice is muffled but it's enough for the others to step away and Minho finally takes a deep breath.

He looks around his friends.

Chan and his freshly bleached blond hair, Changbin and his sideburns, Jisung's sandy hair peeking out from under his hoodie. Seungmin's hair still has a touch of pink in it but his roots are taking up most of the space now. Jeongin looks amazing with that new vibrant blue dye Seungmin helped him put on a few days ago.

Everyone looks so different and Minho is so happy to see them but there's something he can't ignore.

Space, where Hyunjin would usually fit with his ridiculously long blond hair, is empty now.

No one talks about it, Jisung and Jeongin filling up space next to Minho on their way to the bus station with their jokes and banter.

It's almost like Hyunjin never existed. His absence is something completely different from Minho's. For him, it was known when he will get back.

With Hyunjin it's complicated. Studying abroad is different from a one-year scholarship. No one is sure if he will _ever come back_.

For a day though, Minho decides he will not think about it and enjoy the company of the rest of his friends.

🍃🍃🍃

At first, Minho chooses to believe that Hyunjin will be back.

Some dark part of him wants to believe that Hyunjin wouldn't leave him behind. It's stupid and selfish thinking. He has moved on and so has Minho.

Only the moving on Minho goes thought is a little bit different. He accepts the fact that late-night face time talks and texts is all he will get from Hyunjin for the time being.

What's harder to accept is the feeling slowly building in Minho's chest. Hyunjin's smile when he tells him about how Jeongin has gone to the movies with Chan without thinking it was a date. It makes something in Minho's throat close around the words.

"He really didn't catch on it being a date? How can you go on a date and not realize?" he asks, genuinely curious.

"I don't know," Minho shrugs. "Ask Jeongin. We are all tired of their little game. I'll go beg Chan to take some real action soon if this continues."

At that, Hyunjin laughs loudly. The sound cracks a little in Minho's old headphones and it should probably hurt his ears but he doesn't mind. That should be his warning but it doesn't worry him too much.

"Please update me on it."

"Will do," Minho says and means it. This thing between Jeongin and Chan is something he has seen coming and he is rooting for them with all he has. "What about you, any dates? Any interesting people in America?"

Hyunjin stays silent for a moment and in that minute or two Minho can feel his stomach drop slowly. There's probably a special place in hell for him for feeling like this when he has no claim over Hyunjin.

"I—" Hyunjin's voice is quiet, uncertain. "There is someone that I might be..."

'— _Interested in_ ,' Minho finishes the sentence in his head. There's not much he can say to that apart from a 'Good luck, I'm sure it will work out' that sounds fake even to him. And Hyunjin knows him better than this.

It's during that night, somewhere in the middle of Hyunjin's second year in university when Minho realizes something that makes him laugh out loud in the middle of the night.

He is in love with Hyunjin. Now when the younger has moved on and is about to date someone else.

Oh, the sweet irony.

Minho's laugh dies on his tongue and he stares at the bright screen of his phone still open on Hyunjin's messages.

This isn't how it's supposed to go yet it does.

🍃🍃🍃

Minho doesn't need to tell Seungmin about his newfound feelings for the younger to know.

"I talked with Hyunjin yesterday. He said you were busy for a week now and asked if you are okay," his best friend gives him a side glance as they wait for their turn to pick up food for their group meeting. "I know you're not busy. But are you _okay_?"

Maybe being friends for that long gives Seungmin special access to Minho's thoughts because all it takes for the younger to figure it out is one look.

Minho doesn't want to compile all he has been feeling for the past week into words so just turns to look Seungmin straight in the eyes.

"I'll tell Hyunjin you are fine and you will call him back when you have time," Seungmin says carefully and Minho can see he wants to add something else so he lifts up his hand to stop him.

"Don't," Minho smiles. "Don't say something like 'you had your chance' or 'I saw it coming'. Please don't."

Minho rarely pleads and it makes Seungmin look at him like he is something fragile and about to break. He isn't.

"I wasn't planning too," is all the younger says and Minho is fine with that.

"Good," he whispers.

 _Good_.

🍃🍃🍃

"Hyung I can't believe I really managed to spill water all over him and he _laughed_ at me. During the first date," Hyunjin's voice is loud in Minho's headphones that night because he is trying to block out the noises his parents are making while arguing. "Now he will block me and never speak to me again."

Minho taps his fingers at the frame of his bed to distract himself from the thoughts forming in his head. He will not feel jealous. Not today.

"Is he the one you told me about before? The one you like?"

Hyunjin nods eagerly.

"He's an exchange student. From Australia," Hyunjin's voice loses the enthusiasm fast and the younger's shoulders drop. "Why did I fuck it up? Hyung am I cursed? Will I always fuck up my relationships with people I fall for? Will I—"

There are two things that register in Minho's brain at the same time and they fight for the spotlight as he stares at Hyunjin's distressed expression.

' _People I fall for_.'

Minho smiles despite his hands forming fists on the bedsheets.

"You won't," he says. ' _You never fucked up with me_ ,' he wants to say but this isn't about him anymore. "What's his name anyway? You never told me."

"Felix," Hyunjin says and he looks better if just a little. Minho smiles, glad that no matter what, at least he is still able to make the younger smile.

"That's such an Aussie name."

"I know right," Hyunjin snorts before remembering he was supposed to be sad. Minho lets out a laugh.

For the next few hours, Minho ignores the plies of homework laying on his desk in favor of trying to make Hyunjin laugh and forget about his disastrous first date with Felix.

Somewhere in the middle of it all, around two in the morning when Minho brings himself coffee from the kitchen to help his automatically closing eyes stay open, there's a ping of a new message on Hyunjin's end of the call.

"It's from Felix," Hyunjin's eyes spark that familiar way. "He asks when I'm free to hang out again."

"You mean a date?" Minho watches Hyunjin nod with wide eyes. "See, I told you it would be fine. Now _answer him you idiot_."

Hyunjin tears his eyes away from the phone screen and lets his hands drop to the sides. He grins at Minho and at that moment the older doesn't care if he has just set his friend up with someone. All that matters is Hyunjin's smile.

Minho will have a lot of time to be sad later when Hyunjin leaves for his classes and he will be left alone in the middle of the night.

🍃🍃🍃

It doesn't take long for Minho to receive two separate dating news.

The first news come during one of their weekly dinners when Jeongin accidentally grabs Chan's hand before leaving Minho's place.

"I swear we didn't plan to keep it a secret, it just never came up in conversation and it's recent," Jeongin tries to talk over everyone else who almost scream questions at the duo in question. They all sound excited and Minho smiles at his friends, proud. He is glad at least some of them end up with happy endings.

The second news come at night when Minho is studying for one of his exams. It's been hours and there are tears at the corners of his eyes from the headache that he has ignored for far too long.

"I don't have painkillers," Minho mumbles to his notes and hides his face in his hands. University is about to finish him off and he can feel his own determination melting away.

At first, he thinks that the soft ping is just a creation of his overworked brain but he can't ignore the light coming from his bed where his phone lays forgotten.

"Well I deserve a break anyway," Minho says to the empty room. Maybe he is going insane, talking to himself like this but he hasn't seen another human being in almost a week. Even his family lets him stay in his room without bothering him too much. Exams really do make people think twice before knocking on his door.

He gets up and stretches before reaching out for his phone.

When the screen comes back to life and the letters of the message appear before Minho's eyes he almost drops it on the floor.

' _I took Felix on that fifth date to the place you told me about. I can't imagine you eating here with your friends back when you lived in the US though, it's way too nice. Haha, just joking. Anyway, after the date, Felix asked me to be his boyfriend! Imagine!_ ,' it says.

The tears that have been gathering for hours finally spill. Minho blinks them away.

' _I'm happy for you_ ,' he types back.

Because he really is. Minho _is_ happy for Hyunjin. He just doesn't know what to do with his own emotions.

For now, he keeps this one small detail about Hyunjin to himself. None of the others talk to him that much anymore and Minho needs time to heal.

He lets himself cry in secret, behind closed doors.

🍃🍃🍃

' _I've been looking at plane tickets_ ,' is how Minho's world starts to fall apart.

He stares at his phone screen without as much as blinking, willing Hyunjin's message to disappear, to dissolve into thin air. Of course, it doesn't.

' _You coming back home?_ ' he types back hurriedly because Hyunjin will probably grow suspicious if he doesn't reply fast enough. It sounds natural enough but Minho feels anything but calm.

' _I think it's fucking time I come back. Uni has been slowing down and I have the holidays off so I thought... I've missed the city and I've missed you guys too. Don't tell Minnie but I'm bringing Lixie with me too._ '

Minho's fingers hover over the screen mindlessly. There's not much he can say to that except maybe a 'Don't worry, I won't tell Seungmin' or maybe something closer to the truth 'Hyunjin can we get back to the way we have been before? Before I broke your heart?'.

Or maybe, Minho should for once in his life face the consequences of his actions head-on and say what's really on his mind without ridiculous riddles and half-truths that only Seungmin and Hyunjin can understand. No matter how awful and selfish they might be. Hyunjin deserves the truth.

'Don't bring Felix. _I wish you were still in love with me even if it meant you would still be hurting because now, I would love you too_.'

But that's too cruel even for him so instead, Minho smiles at his phone because, no matter what, he _is_ happy he is going to see his best friend again after four years of video calls and texts between studies.

' _I'll be at the airport to pick you up. Just tell me when_.'

God, Seungmin will have his head.

🍃🍃🍃

"Do I look fine?" Minho asks for what feels like the hundredth time this morning and judging from Seungmin's face it might as well be.

" _How many times_ do i have to tell you. You look amazing."

They are sitting on the floor of Minho's room, Seungmin in a casual gray t-shirt and some shorts.

"You're dressed to impress," Minho gives his friend a smirk. Seungmin gives him another raised eyebrow communicating just how many fucks he gives.

"I'm not the one in love with Hyunjin," he says casually and Minho feels like fighting him. A day without the urge to get rid of the annoying smile on his best friend's face is a lost day after all. "I could wear a potato sack and Hyunjin wouldn't care."

"I would," Minho points out. Not that what Seungmin wears concerns him greatly but he can't have his friend pull up to the airport looking like a fool. "You look fine but you do realize it's not gonna be only the three of us, right?"

Seungmin raises his eyebrows, this time in a gesture of mild interest and maybe even worry.

"So I've been told?" His tone is unsure and Minho realizes he hasn’t told the younger about Felix also being there. Hyunjin's request sounds more ridiculous than anything else now and he regrets agreeing to it. Confusion on Seungmin's face evolves into distrust fast and now he is staring at Minho with distrust in his eyes. "Or I haven't. Unless you mean the people at the airport, which is bullshit because we both know you don't care about that. So, tell me Minho hyung, what's going on? What got you so worked up over this? I expected you to be more enthusiastic over Hyunjin coming back. Isn't this your big chance?"

Minho wishes he could laugh. The thing is, he should have probably told Seungmin about Felix's existence but he didn't because it felt too unimportant. And then Hyunjin asked for it and...

"It's complicated. There is never going to be anything between me and Hyunjin."

Seungmin gets up from his place on the carpet and reaches into Minho's closet to retrieve something Minho can't see clearly.

"There already is something," he says and tosses him his favorite hoodie. "This was always Hyunjin's favorite on you. You might not think about the bigger picture but for years I've heard the same bullshit from Hyunjin. Things about this hoodie included."

Minho looks at the piece of clothing lying in his lap. It's a basic one, nothing fancy just blue and a little bit of white. He can almost _feel_ the ocean under his feet and Hyunjin's laugh when he looks at it.

"Anyway, my point is, there's something between you and Hyunjin whether you like it or not. Back then it was him who felt this way, now it's you or maybe him too, I don't know, but once it has changed there's no coming back until you don't sort this out."

Minho sighs. He should have told Seungmin about Felix so much sooner.

"He has someone," he admits, bitterness seeping into his voice despite his attempts at stopping it from showing. He doesn't like this side of himself, the one who doesn't sound happy for his best friend. "I didn't tell you because... Well, there's no real good explanation but then Hyunjin asked me not to tell you because apparently they are coming together—"

"God Minho," Seungmin sighs and slides back to the floor. "Hyung. I appreciate you being honest with me now but you know, you don't have to hide anything from me. I won't judge."

"You will," Minho laughs. "But I guess it's okay."

"Okay, maybe I will," Seungmin stares at the hoodie in Minho's hands. "Maybe I should have dressed better."

Minho stares his friend up and down again and smiles. Messy Seungmin has it's charm and it's just as he has said; it's not like Hyunjin will mind. And if Felix does, Minho has a feeling they won't get along well.

"Maybe we should call Jeongin and all the others for a little reunion?" Seungmin's gaze travels to his phone that has been laying silently on Minho's nightstand. "We haven't seen anyone apart from Jisung lately."

Minho nods in agreement. Maybe meeting with the rest of their old high school squad would make this visit easier to survive. He misses them all but because of university and work, they rarely have free time that matches up.

"Do you think they would all come?" He asks with hope. "Jeongin and Chan have been rather busy moving into their new house."

"I saw Jeongin just the other day and he said he misses you hyung. He also said he needs to beat Hyunjin's ass in billboard, not sure what this one's about."

Minho smirks. Sounds so very Jeongin.

They fall into comfortable chatter for a few moments they have to spare. It's easy to lose oneself when talking about their friends’ lives. They help him forget about Hyunjin and for a moment he doesn't feel the hurricane of emotions that has been going on inside him for what feels like years now.

"Are you sure you will be fine?" Seungmin asks just when they are about to leave the safety of Minho's room.

The older can't answer the question honestly because the truth is, he _doesn't know_. It's hard to predict his body's reaction to Hyunjin and it's hard to predict how long it will take for his brain to realize Felix is a very real person.

He sighs.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Don't try to make it out to be a bigger deal than it already is Minnie. It's not my first love problem, it will fade out like everything else had," they both know it's a lie.

Hyunjin will always be something more than just a fleeing topic in their conversations and no matter how Minho looks at it, he knows he won't get out of this unscared.

"Hey, I'll be there with you," Seungmin smiles at him, the first real one that day. Minho answers with a crooked one of his own. "Hyunjin cares. He will always care."

That, Minho can't argue. Too bad Hyunjin won't care the way he wants him to.

Never again.

🍃🍃🍃

"Oh, so these are your friends you have told me so much about Hyunjin?" Are the first words that leave Felix's mouth shortly after a very bright 'hellos' at both Minho and Seungmin. "I've heard so much about you both."

Minho slides a glance at Hyunjin. He wonders what kind of stories the younger have to feed his boyfriend. If Minho was the main character in them, a best friend or maybe a love interest? Have Hyunjin buried that part of their relationship so deep that neither Felix nor Minho will ever make the memories resurface?

From the bright look in Felix's eyes, Minho guesses the younger hasn't heard the whole truth. Maybe some watered-down version of it. None of the crying in Seungmin's room or the silence Minho has heard after dialing Hyunjin's number for almost half a year.

Or maybe that thinking is unfair, even wishful because it makes Minho's role bigger and Hyunjin's hurt greater, and at the end of the day, he doesn't want it.

Maybe it's half the truth, maybe it's all of it, or maybe Felix just doesn't care about the past too much.

"You talked about us?" Seungmin asks the question, so Minho doesn't have to, and the older just smiles and nods, a heavy feeling of Hyunjin's eyes on him present. "I was so sure Hyunjin here has forgotten about my existence. You could have at least called to say you are coming you prick."

The last words are directed at Hyunjin whose eyes leave Minho to rest on Seungmin now. He furrows his brows and Felix lets out a laugh. Minho feels the corners of his lips lift slightly.

"I told Minho hyung?" He counters. Seungmin raises one eyebrow.

"Is my name Minho hyung now?"

"I take it you are Minho then," Minho doesn't even notice when Felix moves closer to him. The younger smiles at him knowingly and throws a gaze at the other two. "Are they always like this?"

"Haven't Hyunjin told you all about us?" Minho asks and for a moment he wonders if that maybe sounded too harsh paired with his cold tone but Felix is still smiling.

"Only the good things," he says as if that explains everything. Maybe it does.

"I'm not that good of a person," Minho settles for some form of truth. It feels strange to be welcomed with such happiness and enthusiasm when all he has done was being an ass.

"That's true, Minho is an ass," Seungmin's gaze is fixated back on them, Hyunjin looking at the other with wild eyes. He hasn't seen how Minho's and Seungmin's friendship evolved over the years. It's strange how much dynamics can change when you remove one of the parts of a puzzle piece.

Minho doesn't mind being called an ass, especially not by Seungmin.

"I've heard he is a good friend though," Felix counters, eyes locked with Seungmin's, and Minho's friend raises a questioning eyebrow in surprise.

"I guess," Seungmin's stare is so intense Minho feels taken aback, and Hyunjin gives his boyfriend and friend an unreadable look too. "You will have to make the final judgment yourself thought."

Felix smiles again, eyes almost disappearing, his freckled cheeks shining under the sunshine from the big windows, and at that moment Minho knows he has already lost this war that he wasn't aware he wanted to participate in.

Felix is like the sunshine outside; warm, sweet, mesmerizing if Minho can trust Seungmin's gaze fixated on Hyunjin's boyfriend.

Minho is anything but bright. He is more like the dark; sneaky, cold sometimes. It might not sound appealing but he likes himself this way.

But at the end of the day, no one would choose the darkness over a warm, sunny day.

Minho doesn't blame Hyunjin for his decision to date Felix. He was the one to fuck things up anyway.

"I'll try to be an amazing friend for a few days then. We can't have Felix think I'm an asshole or anything like that," he says and he meets Hyunjin's eyes. ' _Even if sometimes I'm just that_.'

He doesn't need to say it for three out of four people present to know it.

Hyunjin's gaze is unreadable again. Minho looks away.

🍃🍃🍃

The problem is this: Felix is nice. More than nice actually, with big smiles and cute freckles that make Hyunjin trace his fingers along with them, making constellations that Minho can't tell apart from the distance.

"They fit each other well, right?" He asks with a small smile forming on his lips.

"Are you waiting for me to tell you that they fit better than you and Hyunjin ever did?" Seungmin asks, eyebrows raised. His lilac hair is long enough to make it impossible for Minho to read his friend’s eyes.

"Maybe," he says. "Maybe I want you to tell me I didn't make a mistake when I rejected Hyunjin."

"You didn't make a mistake Minho," Seungmin's voice sounds genuine and it makes Minho turn his full attention to the other, Hyunjin and Felix disappearing in the background.

"What do you mean?"

"You," Seungmin points an accusatory finger at him and then moves it to over Minho's shoulder. "Hyunjin. What's the point of dating someone who you don't have feelings for?"

Minho raises an eyebrow at him.

"I do have feelings for him," his voice doesn't even waver when the words slip out, the truth so obvious and easy as breathing by now. "Start making sense Minnie."

Seungmin rolls his eyes and sighs loudly.

"Back then you didn't," Minho can't argue that. Oh, how simpler would everything be if he had just fallen in love years ago instead of now? "Hyunjin looked at you just as you look at him now. But that's the point, isn't it? The timing was wrong. That's why it wasn't a mistake."

Minho stays quiet. He watches the sea in the place where Hyunjin and Felix have disappeared just a few minutes ago. Maybe Seungmin is right.

The sea clashes with the sand angrily, sending a rain of salty water their way. Seungmin laughs as Minho tries to dodge. It doesn't help and before they can move out of the way both of their shorts are soaked.

"What about the others? Have you talked to them?" Minho picks up their blanket with the intention to relocate as far from the angry waves as they can without Felix and Hyunjin losing sight of them. It's not the best idea to get separated, especially since both of their phones are still in Seungmin's backpack. "Do you think it will rain?"

Seungmin's gaze flickers to the clouds above for a split second and he nods shortly.

"Probably. Hyunjin should be able to get back before it thought if there's anything from the old Hyunjin is still in that overgrown body of him."

"He isn't tall, we are just small," Minho comments with a smirk because he knows it will make Seungmin annoyed. Just as he predicted, his friend narrows his eyes at him.

"Did I ask?" He asks and shots Minho a dangerous glance to stop him from answering the rhetorical question. "I talked with Jisung and Jeongin in the morning. Changbin didn't pick up, the asshole."

"Since it was you, not surprised," Minho dodges a ball if wet sand that Seungmin sends his way. "Truth hurts just a little bit, right Minnie?"

"Not my fault Changbin can't take being in my vicinity," Seungmin shrugs but Minho can't laugh. There's this little secret he carries around that normal slips his mind but now when he remembers Changbin and sees Seungmin's indifference he can't help but wonder. Will they be another case of the wrong timing or just a missed opportunity altogether?

"I'll contact him for you," Minho says just to change the topic.

"Thank you," Seungmin's eyes drop to the blanket. The younger might not show it but Minho knows he wonders what he has done, maybe he even blames himself. He doesn't know what to tell his friend. He can't make this one better.

"What about the others thought? Maybe Jeongin and Chan need help moving their stuff? I know the fuckers have a shit tone of stuff. And Jisung, is he free or is he working again?"

Seungmin stays silent for a while, his eyes trying to read some information from Minho's face but after a moment he gives up and sighs.

"Well, Jeongin said that they only need some furniture for the living room now and since it needs to be new they have to simply order it. So basically, Jeongin says they are free. Jisung too. I guess, at the end of the day they really want to meet Hyunjin too, no matter how busy they might be."

"This sounds like a lot of excuses," Minho laughs. He can imagine Jeongin balancing his phone between his ear and shoulder as he moves things around and gestures wildly at Chan to set things up _just right_. Jisung probably already moved all his shift to make some free time to annoy his ex enemy turned best friend to no end.

Minho wonders how will Felix fit into all that.

"Let them be, I haven't called them out on it. We might need to go over to Jeongin's and Chan's house though, I don't trust them to have everything as it should be."

Minho snorts at that. Their friends might be chaotic but where Jeongin is clumsy, Chan is collected. That's why they work out so well.

"You are only saying this because there's no Jeongin to end you for that awful accusation."

"You know I'm right."

"You're just worried."

Seungmin doesn't protest this time.

"I'm glad," he says instead. "That at least they have a happy love life."

Minho agrees absentmindedly and only realizes the true meaning behind Seungmin's words when the younger's gaze is already focused on something else. Minho turns around to find out what has grabbed Seungmin's attention.

Felix and Hyunjin are making their way to them.

There's not much Minho can hear over the blowing wind but a short laugh or a shriek. It looks like the two of them are having fun though, shoulders bumbling against each other and smiles on their faces more visible with each step they make.

Seungmin's gaze doesn't leave one of the figures.

At first, Minho just assumes his friend is looking at Hyunjin but the longer he observes the bigger the hole in his stomach gets.

Because Seungmin's eyes aren't glued to their share friend, no. His friend, who he has sworn to protect from heartbreak, has his eyes on Felix. Of course, it's him, with all the warm smiles and bright laughs.

Minho has sworn to protect Seungmin the way Seungmin always tries to help him with his feelings for Hyunjin. Heartbreak is not something he wants for his best friend.

This, however, is something he can't protect Seungmin from.

🍃🍃🍃

"So which one of you is Felix?" Jeongin's enthusiastic voice can be heard even before the younger appears, throwing arms around Minho's and Seungmin's shoulders with a wild grin.

Seungmin takes a step back but Minho stays in place, throwing a glance over his shoulder to Chan who appears just after his boyfriend. The oldest of the group just shrugs. What did Minho expect, honestly?

' _Whipped_ ," he mouths.

' _And what about it_ ," Chan mouths back. There's no winning against him so Minho just shakes his head.

"The only one who you don't know," Seungmin answers with an eye roll at the same time that Felix waves with a smile and says, "That would be me."

Jeongin's sparkling eyes move to Felix and his lips form an even wider smile than before.

Looking at them like this reminds Minho of looking directly at the sun, and he looks away to where Hyunjin's eyes are already waiting for him.

"Jeongin, Chan, it's been a while," the blonde says, his eyes never leaving Minho. "I heard you got a house together?"

"It's nothing amazing but it's ours," Chan answers with a smile and Minho can see the happiness in his eyes. He knows that despite the words the older is excited about the move and Minho is happy for both of his friends. "It's nice to finally be able to wake up together."

Jeongin, who has been looking at Chan with furrowed brows for a moment, ready to argue that their place is _the best thing_ probably, instantly softens up. It's a look Minho has never seen when Chan is not around. Jeongin is normally calm and collected unless Seungmin rails him up.

"What Chan hyung said I guess..." the younger's voice is quiet and Chan's smile grows bigger.

"Disgusting," Seungmin whispers loud enough for everyone to hear and in that moment the last two people they were waiting to arrive.

"You love it, don't lie," Changbin is wearing clothes too dark to the weather but Minho supposes it's all right since the smile he sends Seungmin looks genuine and not forced. The younger huffs but settles for a smile too.

"Good to see you," the words make Changbin's smile grow even bigger.

Minho wonders if any of them will end the summer without a huge heartbreak.

"I missed you too," Changbin answers. "If only Jisung haven't left his phone at home we would have been on time. Sorry, everyone."

" _Hey!_ ," Jisung protests but it's weak. "Sorry to be late, I missed you all. Especially you asshat," the words are directed at Hyunjin who just laughs. The sound is so painfully familiar that Minho can feel his heart beat faster for a moment before slowing down again. Meeting like this again feels almost surreal, every friend of his with a big smile on their face and in the middle of it all the newest addiction with the brightest smile yet.

Part of Minho has already accepted Felix into their little circle. He fits right in. Chan adopts him straight away with Jeongin trailing after them and whispers stories into Felix's ear.

"Aren't you worried?" Minho falls in step with Hyunjin as they leave the meeting spot and start on their journey to the arcade in the city.

Changbin has linked his arms with Seungmin and after a second or two of sweet talk, the younger has forgotten about the silent period that has happened between them.

Jisung has also joined them, observing the antics from the side and occasionally laughing at some joke Changbin tells.

This leaves Minho with Hyunjin and he turns his attention to the boy next to him. It's almost like old times except Hyunjin is taller and his hair is blond and Minho is in love with him.

It's nothing like the old times at all.

"About what? Felix thinking all of you are weird?" Hyunjin's eyes sparkle with mischief and Minho rolls his.

"No, somehow I think that won't be a problem. I'm talking about the stories Jeongin is telling him as we speak."

"Ah that," Hyunjin turns to where his boyfriend and Jeongin lead the way. "I told Felix the worst stories so whatever bullshit leaves Jeongin's mouth shouldn't be a problem."

"You said it yourself. It's probably bullshit," Minho scans his friend again. Worst stories. He will not think about it. "Felix seems amazing. I'm glad you decided to bring him here."

The words hurt, even more with the memory of Seungmin's gaze on the freckled boy but Hyunjin's smile and the happiness in his eyes make them worth it. Minho is a terrible person, that much hasn't changed.

Minho does his best to hide his feelings in a place where even his own brain will not find them and it works for a while.

As soon as they arrive he gets separated from Hyunjin, one hand in Seungmin's, the other in Jeongin's as they laugh and drag him to pay for their Just Dance rounds.

"I wanna do Fancy by Twice," Jeongin whines in his polished to perfection 'indulge me' voice. It's hard to top it.

Seungmin tries, of course.

"I want to do Shoot Me by DAY6," he blows wind into Minho's ear, and the older jumps away.

"Hey!" Jeongin laughs and shoves him away playfully. "That's _not_ on the list."

"I'm just messing with you, young one," Seungmin ruffles Jeongin's hair affectionately. Minho smiles at his friends. "We can dance to all the Twice songs."

"A win," Jeongin's words turn into giggles.

"—As long as Minho hyung is paying," Seungmin finishes and Minho's smile drops as both of his friends turn their attention to him. Jeongin doesn't even blink as he tries to give Minho the best pleading look.

"Leave this one for Chan," he huffs in annoyance, but he isn't mad at the younger, only at himself because he knows they have won. There's nothing he can do to save his wallet from suffering that day.

"You," he points his index finger at Seungmin. "Are paying for the drinks. I want a big blueberry milkshake."

"I'll have the strawberry and orange smoothie," Jeongin chirps in. "One lemon ice tea for Chan."

Seungmin throws the youngest a judging look.

"A big americano for me," Changbin appears next to them out of the blue. "You know Jisung's order, and Hyunjin said he will pay for himself and Felix so you don't have to worry. Jeongin, do they have Signal?"

Changbin swiftly maneuvers between Minho and Seungmin to get to an enthusiastic Jeongin who nods his head for 'yes, _of course, they do_ '.

"Why can't you all pay for yourself?" Seungmin asks after the older but it's quiet enough and there's no venom in his voice for Minho to know Seungmin doesn't really mean it. "I can't believe them."

"Well, at least I'm not the only one paying," as it turns out everyone ends up paying for something.

Despite being a huge Just Dance lover Jeongin soon migrates to the basketball games to cheer Chan up in a match again Jisung. Changbin finished Signal with a high score but loses the semi-final to Felix who turns out to be a better dancer than Minho would have anticipated. Well, a better Just Dance dancer at least.

"Do you dance normally too or are you just a Just Dance pro?" Minho leans on the railing next to the younger and gives him a side glance. Felix's gaze is glued to the match that's currently going on which is Hyunjin versus Seungmin over EXO's Monster. 

"I'm a dance major at university. That's how I've met Hyunjin," Felix turns his attention to Minho and the older realizes just how little he knows about Hyunjin's life back at university. He knows next to nothing about the place the younger calls home now, have never visited it. He also feels terrible about the fact that he has never asked to know more about Felix. The younger seems to know a lot about him but he has nothing to offer back. "I guess he hasn't talked about me nearly as much as he has talked about you."

Minho feels a shart tug in his chest and he stumbles for words to comfort this boy who has been a stranger to him only a few days ago and who should definitely be more of an enemy than a friend.

"No, that's not it," he mumbles. ' _It's my fault_ ' he wants to add but it might reveal too much. "I'm just not a great listener."

Felix looks him over like he has never considered Minho beyond Hyunjin's stories before.

"Doesn't seem like it to me," he says finally and Minho lets out a surprised laugh. "You are listening to me just fine now."

At that, Minho laughs loudly.

"I dance too, you know. Was that part of the information Hyunjin feed you?"

Felix looks at the dance floor where Seungmin and Hyunjin wrap up their match which ended in Hyunjin's victory.

"I don't think he mentioned," Minho's eyebrows shot up and he smiles at the boy next to him. "How about we battle to see who is the superior dancer?"

"And the winner plays with Hyunjin in the final round?" Minho asks and Felix looks at him with unreadable eyes. The tension that wasn't there before seems to be like a wall between them now. 

Thankfully, just as it seems to grow so thick Minho thinks he would say something he might regret, Hyunjin appears next to them with a triumphant smile, still high on adrenaline and his either victory.

Minho swallows, hard.

"What song you two want to dance to?"

"How about Gotta Go?" tension seems to leave Felix too and he smiles at his boyfriend.

"Isn't that cheating? You know the whole choreography like the back of your hand."

"I don't think that's gonna help him much with Just Dance," Minho points out and the other two turn to him at the same time. For the first time since Felix has arrived, he feels like a third wheel. Maybe before it was Seungmin's presence that made all the difference. "Besides, I'm confident in my skills. Let's do Gotta Go."

Hyunjin smiles at him and this time Minho is sure it's reserved only for him. It's the kind of smile the younger used to give him after their dance sessions back in high school. Minho wonders if Hyunjin would still look at him the same way he did back then if he danced for him. Or is that longing gaze only for Felix now.

"Hyunjin, select it for us please," Felix jumps onto the dance floor in one swift move. Minho follows close behind.

Felix turns out to be a difficult opponent. Where Minho is all precision he is powerful. An interesting combination; at least in theory. But this is Just Dance, not real dancing.

"Come on! Minho hyung!" Minho tears his eyes away from the screen for a moment to see the rest of his friends back in one place, everyone's eyes on the dance battle. "What's with your moves? They suck!"

"Kim Seungmin!" Minho yells back. "You are dead to me."

"Woohoo, Felix hyungie!" comes another scream, this time Jeongin's. Minho just rolls his eyes and focuses on the screen.

No one but he and Felix can see the current score but it doesn't stop them from screaming their names at the top of their lungs and making everyone in the arcade stare.

"That's so annoying," Minho whispers and Felix just laughs at his misery. "What are you laughing at, you're losing, freckled boy."

"Oh yeah?" Felix asks as the last beat of Gotta Go play out and they jump around, trying to get as many points as possible before the machine tells them their final scores.

In the end, Minho does just what he has said he would: he wins.

Felix pats him on the back with a heavy breath.

"Good match," he smiles. "I'm glad I don't have to go against Hyunjin."

Minho closes his eyes and when he opens them again it's Hyunjin's curious eyes that meet his, not Felix's.

"What is it gonna be hyung?" The younger asks.

"Shouldn't you be the one to select the song? I always beat you in the end, take the only advantage you have."

Hyunjin raises his brows.

"That's new, you used to insist on BTS back in the day."

Minho just shrugs and gestures at the menu.

"Your revenge starts now I guess."

Hyunjin laughs and takes the space before the monitor with confidence. Minho is curious if he will know the song the younger is set on. They have learned and danced many choreographers together, Hyunjin's graceful moves fitting perfectly with Minho's sharpness.

His hands ache to reach out and touch Hyunjin. He forces back all the confessions he wants to make under the false safety of pink and blue lights. It looks too much like a dream here and Minho wishes the two of them could just dance right now like the old times.

"Okay," Hyunjin's voice breaks Minho's illusion. It's soft and the rest of the group probably can't hear them right now. "Let's go hyung. May the better win."

They exchange smirks but Minho's files on his lips as the first notes of Spring Day start to fill up space around them.

The surprise almost makes him skip the first few beats. Thankfully, Minho was born a dancer, so recovers fast and soon enough the only noises he can hear is the squeaking of their boots and the familiar beat of Spring Day. Even the cheering has stopped.

The song brings back memories of their early days as a more professional dance crew than training in Minho's room without a mirror to monitor their progress.

If Minho had to guess, it was probably the first or maybe the second song they have learned and shown to Seungmin who has clapped and called them incredible which is, well, rare.

Minho makes a mental note to ask Hyunjin if he still remembers the choreography.

"Spring Day is an easy one," Hyunjin comments and Minho spares him a look. The younger has his eyes on him and yet still hits all the right spots perfectly. Minho feels his stomach drop.

"Isn't this cheating?" he asks weakly. His leg slips and he grimaces at the sound the machine makes when he hits the wrong colored button.

"You said I should use my advantage and I did," is all Hyunjin says and Minho can't argue with that.

In the end, that one mistake costs him the whole game and he loses while Hyunjin gets the perfect score.

Minho watches as Felix jumps up to Hyunjin and gives him a quick peck on the cheek. He turns his head away.

The rest of their group surrounds him with 'you did well' and Jeongin's 'I can't believe Hyunjin finally beat you'. He smiles at them but Seungmin catches his gaze which keeps shifting to where Hyunjin is standing.

"Hey," the younger steps aside so that Minho is forced to look at him, Hyunjin's and Felix's silhouettes hidden from view. "Good job hyung."

Minho sighs.

"Maybe," he answers, and his eyes catch a glimpse of Hyunjin's smile when the younger moves. Felix has his arm around his boyfriend's waist and they both look at each other. It looks so natural and intimate that Minho has to look away. "But not good enough."

Seungmin turns around.

Never good enough again.

🍃🍃🍃

"It's tradition! Come on!" Jeongin's whines echo into the night as Chan drags him inside Minho's house.

"It's been years since the last round," Jisung points out but the younger only shrugs, not having any of it. Minho truly admires Jeongin sometimes. Him and all the fucks he doesn't give.

"And? You mean to tell me you've forgotten how to play?" Jeongin's raised eyebrows activate Minho's competitive side and he laughs.

" _Please_ ," he says and stops in the middle of the sidewalk and positions himself so that no one can get past him, hands stretched out on both sides.

Hyunjin is the first one to reach him and they almost collide, the younger's giggles sounding loudly in the quiet night.

"Easy now," Minho laughs too and he can't help moving closer to the younger. In that moment he forgets about Felix and the others. "Don't want a contusion, do you?"

"You wouldn't hurt me," Hyunjin answers. Minho freezes and reality comes backs to him all at once.

"So I guess you want to do it too?" Chan asks and peaks from behind Hyunjin's shoulder. "I've almost forgotten how fun it was."

"That's because you're getting old," Jeongin smiles down at his boyfriend and points his finger at Chan's head. "Memory is not as good anymore."

"The annual hide and seek, huh? It's not the first day of summer though," Seungmin appears at Minho's side and the older finally lets his hands fall to his sides. "It's after the sunset already but If we hurry we can play a good round nonetheless."

Minho can more feel than see the others nodding their heads as the idea of bringing back their childhood game grows on them.

"I'm in," Jisung says and puts his hand palms down in the free space between them. He looks around with raised eyebrows. "What about you?"

Jeongin is the first one to join Jisung, his hand making a loud 'clap' noise while landing on top of the older's. Jisung grimaces but there's no time to complain because one by one the others join too.

Chan smiles at his boyfriend as their hands touch and a second later Changbin shrugs and adds his own to the pile.

Minho looks first to Seungmin then to Hyunjin. His gaze lingers on the ends of Hyunjin's long blond hair. So close yet so unreachable.

"You won't back down just because you are terrible at it, will you?"

Hyunjin's stare hardens and shifts to the pile of hands waiting for their decision.

"Like you are the one to talk," Jeongin yells to them with a big smirk on his face. "I'm the champion."

"Is he?" Felix's voice is unexpected and Minho turns to the younger in surprise. Part of him has already forgotten about his presence. Not because of hated or some other petty reason, Minho has moved past that and he actually enjoys his company now. Minho blames the atmosphere they have created around the hide and seek. It feels almost nostalgic like this.

Not wrong, just different.

"He is," this time its Seungmin who answers, head tilted in Felix's direction like the boy is some planet with its gravity which pulls Seungmin in. "He has won three consecutive times I think."

"Today will be the fourth," Jeongin says confidently and even the part of Minho that wants to win this round has to laugh at how hyped up the youngest is.

"Outstanding confidence," Felix smiles brightly at them all and the expression on Seungmin's face is something Minho's hasn't seen in a long time. It's good to see his best friend so happy but he wishes there was another reason behind it, something the younger would be able to preserve. Not someone's boyfriend.

Minho guesses, they aren't so different after all.

"You want to play too?" Hyunjin asks his boyfriend and Minho can see Seungmin blink a few times.

"Yeah," Felix's attention is full-on Hyunjin now, his smile even brighter when their eyes meet.

' _Right_ ,' Minho feels his insides twist painfully.

It's Felix and Hyunjin. Not Hyunjin and Minho or Seungmin and Felix.

No matter how many longing gazes he and Seungmin might send their way, nothing will change.

"Let's do it then," he says, voice strong and unwavering. Minho takes on the role of the strong one and when he catches Seungmin's surprised and questing gaze he just smiles reassuringly.

More and more hands join the pile, Seungmin's first then Hyunjin also adds his with a smile and then it's Minho's turn.

They all look to Felix to give them the green light and the younger does it with the biggest smile on his face.

"Let's go!" He yelps and throws his hand in the air where it stays for a second before coming down to meet theirs.

This is one of these moments that play like a still shot in Minho's brain. Felix's smile and the feeling of finality in the moment when his hand freezes in the air, fingers spread far apart as far as possible. The cold air dancing around them and playing with the loose ends of Hyunjin's hair.

For the first one, it's eight figures in the dark, not seven and it somehow feels alright. Minho feels like it's finally completed with Felix by their side.

🍃🍃🍃

Minho has read somewhere that history likes to go in circles. He can't remember anything else about it, why does it happen or how often or even if it's true, his brain too loaded with information more important and his focus is solely on the boy before him.

Or more like under him. Or around him, it's hard to tell because Hyunjin is literally everywhere.

"Why are we here again," Hyunjin asks a little breathlessly as they try to squeeze themselves in the small space of the treehouse. "God, this is so much smaller than I remembered."

"It's...not," Minho hisses out while trying to free his leg from under Hyunjin's hands. "You are just unnaturally tall now."

Hyunjin laughs. The kind of laugh that wrecks your whole body and for a moment Minho is scared they will collapse and fall out the window in a tangle of arms and legs but then Hyunjin's loud outburst turns to soft giggles and he breathes out, slowly relaxing.

"I'm not unnaturally tall, you are just small hyung," another giggle. Minho is so close he can feel Hyunjin's body vibrating with each small burst of happiness under his fingertips. It would be so easy to reach out and—

Their faces are too close.

Minho turns his head suddenly so that he doesn't have to look at Hyunjin like this. Like they could kiss at any moment. Like it would be as easy as closing the remaining distance.

Even with his head turned to the wooden walls Minho can still feel Hyunjin's warm breath on his neck. It doesn't help regaining control over his body or mind but it's comforting.

" _Minho!_ " Jeongin's voice is loud enough for Minho to freeze. He ignores the informal language because it's probably just another way for the younger to lure him out.

The only question is if Jeongin knows he is in the treehouse or is just blindly trying out his luck. If so, Minho sure as hell is jealous of his luck.

"Shit, is he a psychic?" Hyunjin whispers loudly and Minho hits him lightly on the shoulder. It shuts him up successfully and Minho brings a finger to his lips, telling him to be quiet.

"I bet he is just guessing. This kid has crazy luck," he mouths. He isn't stupid enough to utter any words.

Realistically speaking, the chances that the two of them won't get caught are slim, almost at zero, but Minho is still willing to try.

According to the tradition, Jeongin as the last champion is the one who was the first seeker this time but Minho has no idea how many times it has changed during the first hour. Part of him wonders how Felix is doing. The younger has disappeared in the dark dragged by Seungmin as soon as Jeongin disappears to start the count.

"I wonder how the others are doing," Hyunjin's voice isn't nearly as quiet as Minho would have liked but he can bring himself to reprimand him anymore. "Felix seemed excited to play but sometimes I wonder..."

The silence is almost suffocating. Part of Minho wishes Jeongin would just burst into the little house and free him from the trap called Hyunjin.

The problem is that even if the younger caught him and dragged him outside it wouldn't change a thing.

At the end of the day, Minho can't escape Hyunjin now that he has fallen into his trap.

"If we are too much?" he finishes because he has been wondering too.

Felix is everything and more that he would have wanted for Hyunjin but it can all be a front, a lie. Not like Minho can speak much on liars.

"I think he likes you all," Hyunjin gives him a smile but it doesn't reach his eyes. "He always liked all the stories I told him about you. It probably feels like he knows you all well already."

Minho stares at Hyunjin and willes him, to tell the truth.

Felix will probably never know the whole truth, the whole story. Minho would never be able to tell it, he doesn't have words to describe the feeling in his chest when Hyunjin reaches out and tugs a stray piece of hair behind his ear.

"He will never know the whole truth, right?" Minho whispers and closes his eyes. He squeezes them shut until he can see stars under his eyelids and he doesn't even try to hide his bitter smirk.

He doesn't have to have his eyes open to know Hyunjin freezes at the words.

The breathing on his neck retrieves and Minho is glad when Jeongin finally opens the door.

He only lets his eyes open after feeling the slap on his shoulder indicating that he has been caught.

"You're it hyung," Jeongin announces with a big smile on his face, blissfully unaware of what has just happened.

Truth to be told, Minho isn't too sure either. All he knows is that his secret is slowly sleeping through the cracks and now that he has told Hyunjin this bit he doesn't know how long he will be able to hold it in.

Another obvious fact which is hard to miss is this: Hyunjin has once again left him in the dust, caught.

🍃🍃🍃

Summer days go by definitely faster than autumn ones or winter ones. Minho is still on the fence about spring though. He likes spring.

The summer when Hyunjin visit Minho realizes many things and the slow acceptance he grows into during the hot nights makes the Summer stay a little longer than usual. At least in his mind, it seems to do so.

Quiet nights at his house are the worst especially when Seungmin kidnaps Felix to bother him. Minho doesn't know what they are doing over at the younger's house and he isn't sure he wants to find out. Hyunjin's presence in his room is enough to make him forget all his questions.

"How are your plans for after University doing?" He asks carefully, not too sure if Hyunjin has an answer to that. Minho has finished university himself that last spring and has started a job at a dance studio. For now, he only works at the reception and spends his evenings trying to spy on the teachers but one day he will be the one in the gym, he just knows it.

That was Hyunjin's dream once, too. But things change and Minho knows their dreams are no longer the same.

"I plan to come back," Hyunjin moves closer and crawls on the bed next to Minho. "Felix is thinking about moving here too. Isn't his Korean good?"

Minho laughs quietly.

"It is," he admits and tries to imagine the seven of them back together in one place. Not for only a few stolen months but permanently. Even if permanently doesn't sound real now.

 _'No,'_ Minho scolds himself. It's not only them in his imagination. Felix is there too, next to a smiling Seungmin.

Minho shakes his head. His fantasy might become real but never in all its glory.

Something about Hyunjin's promise to come back makes all the days they spend at the beach easier.

There are some hard times too, of course, but Minho tries to keep a smile on his face no matter what.

Even when Hyunjin's words make his stomach drop and the salty water stink his lungs too much.

"I love him," Hyunjin says, eyes traced on the figure that's too far for them to see clearly but Minho knows it's Felix. 

"I'm glad," Minho answers and he wills it to be true.

More than anything he wants Hyunjin to be happy.

It's easier to ignore the impending end of this little bubble of happiness when the end of Hyunjin's and Felix's stay is far away. Two months is a long time and Minho almost forgets they have to get back.

It feels like Hyunjin never left for America and Felix was just always here.

Minho pushes away the uglier, darker part of his feelings away for long but on the day before summer ends and autumn rolls in taking Hyunjin and Felix with it, something in him snaps.

Seungmin is the first one to notice anything, as always.

"You look sadder than usual," he points out in a voice colored with worry. Minho wonders if he has played his role well enough to full even his best friend. "Don't try denying it Minho."

"I wasn't going to," he mutters and looks at the place where the water meets the sand. "Felix is leaving today, aren't you sad?"

Seungmin gives him a side glance but Minho doesn't turn around to meet his eyes. He knows he is close to breaking and his coping mechanisms is bitterness which Seungmin doesn't deserve. They are both going to walk away from this with a broken heart.

Minho can't help himself.

"He loves Felix, so what?" he asks, voice challenging. "God, Minnie, there was never anything between me and Hyunjin."

 _Too many lies_ , his mind tells him. _Even for you Minho_.

"That's cruel," Seungmin's tone is hard and cold now. "Even for you Minho."

"I think you aren't fair with yourself too Seungmin," Minho thinks that hell must have a special place for him waiting because the look on his best friend’s face is something he won't be able to forget easily.

"I never denied anything," he says in a quiet voice that makes Minho want to shrink himself so that maybe the guilt he feels disappears. "I think no matter what you or I feel it does matter. Maybe not to them," he points to the dark figures visible against the blue sky and sea. "But don't give me the 'It's fine because I can't pretend it never happens, I have no chance anyway,' bullshit. Don't pretend your feelings don't exist only because you don't want them to like you've been doing for the past month."

"Ah," Minho smiles at the dark silhouettes in the distance and then turns to his best friend. "So you've noticed. I was thinking I'm finally getting better at this because I got used to Felix, it's hard not to love him but.."

"Maybe that's not the way to go," Seungmin finishes and smiles at him.

Minho searches for something in his friend's face but he doesn't find what he is looking for. There's no sadness there as Seungmin's gaze travels from Minho to Felix. There's something else there though.

"Maybe," he whispers, not caring if the younger can hear him or not.

Seungmin's smile is the biggest and brightest Minho has seen it in what feels like forever. It makes him feel strange how Felix is able to wrap everyone around his finger in mere days but the younger seems so painfully himself that it makes Minho pause.

Have he been doing it all wrong?

Minho isn't sure Hyunjin would want to fall in love with the same old version of him. The same one that hurt him, who claimed to value their friendship above all else, and then didn't even manage to keep the one promise he made.

The sea is singing loudly in his ears, so loud, it's almost ringing.

Someone chooses the moment when the noise reaches a level that makes him want to scream to tap him lightly on the shoulder.

Minho turns his head, fully expecting to find Seungmin, maybe even for some crazy reason Felix there but instead, he comes face to face with Hyunjin.

Minho's breath hitches, Hyunjin's eyes drop.

"Do you need anything?" Minho asks. The sea is murmuring softly now and it does little to mask Minho's frantic heartbeat.

All the buried feelings come to the surface and Minho feels like he is swimming and drowning all at once.

"Your company," Hyunjin's smile is big and Minho tries to give the younger one back.

It's hard right now with his emotions all over the place.

"Wanna swim?" Hyunjin ignores or doesn't notice the way Minho moves away when he leans in so they are face to face. Up close Minho can count golden spots in Hyunjin's eyes.

Minho's tongue feels trapped so all he can do is nod.

For Hyunjin it's apparently more than enough because he exchanges his hand and helps Minho to his feet.

Next to them, Seungmin and Felix are getting ready to visit the milkshake place to buy them some refreshments.

"Wouldn't you rather do this with your boyfriend?" Minho asks and grimaces at how strained his voice sounds even to himself and Hyunjin knows him better than that. He knows he isn't being fair but the bitterness isn't completely gone yet. The talk with Seungmin has helped but Minho still feels weak.

"I've got him every day but you guys..." Hyunjin's smile falls a little and Minho sees the emotion buried deep inside Hyunjin's eyes for a moment. Maybe he isn’t the only one who has learned to hide some parts of his soul deep inside so that not even he will be able to access it during the years they have been apart. Except Minho is falling apart and Hyunjin is dangerous.

"Okay," he says to spare his best friend.

He might be curious about what the younger is hiding but there is this thing.

Minho loves Hyunjin too much.

It hits him as hard as the sea waves that soon separate them both and Hyunjin disappears from his eyesight for a moment.

Minho turns in circles, wild seawater growling aggressively around him.

The sea is as restless as Minho today.

"Hyunjin!" He yells loud enough for the people on the beach to turn to him and he waits for a heartbeat and then another before a familiar mop of blond hair surfaces to his left.

Hyunjin is still far away but even from the distance Minho can see the wide smile on his lips that makes his stomach flip painfully.

Here, under the dying summer sky and with the loud whispering of the sea in his ears Minho has never loved Hyunjin more.

"Hey Hyunjin," Minho yells over the waves. 

"I love you," he whispers this time and Hyunjin's head doesn't snap in his direction this time.

The breeze carries his words just for a second but in that short moment, Minho feels so light and free without secrets between them.

But then the wind picks up children's laughter and the sound water makes when Hyunjin tries to spray Minho with it.

It's completely another story up in the breeze now and Minho has never felt more alone than in this moment with Hyunjin so close to him but at the same time so far as if he is already back in America.

🍃🍃🍃

During the two months when all of his friends were in reach Minho forgot how frustrating it can be to try to catch Jisung when he is working or how much he will miss Jeongin randomly popping up at his place.

"Was it always this lonely?" He asks Seungmin about a month into autumn.

The leaves are slowly turning brown yellow and red all around them. It's a beautiful day to hang out, full sun, and all but Minho needs to close the flaps of his coat to stop his teeth from chattering.

"We are in the middle of the busiest street in the city I don't think it gets _less_ lonely that this," Seungmin stops despite the masses of people around them cursing under their breath. His eyes tell Minho he is worried and the raised eyebrows indicate just how strange his best friend finds the question.

Minho hasn't been exactly himself for the past month.

That's what losing someone you love again makes you he guesses. Even if Hyunjin will come back, which he promised to do once again at the airport when they all cried together, Minho knows it will never be the same. Some part of him is just too tired to pretend his feelings don't exist around Hyunjin anymore.

"I meant in general. I feel empty," Minho grabs Seungmin's hand and takes a sharp turn right. They land on a small street which is probably not meant to be anything more than a place for workers from shops around the area to rest during their breaks. It's probably used for smoking. "Ever since Hyunjin and Felix went back to America. It's not only them, it's everyone. Jeongin and Chan are busy with their lives again and Jisung never leaves his place. Changbin... well Changbin—"

"Changbin is back to ignoring me, I know," Seungmin sighs and leans against one of the stone walls of the valley. He lifts his head and sets his gaze on the cloudy autumn sky. "Will it be weird to say I'm tired of this? Tired of you and Hyunjin ignoring each other? What has happened Minho?"

"I don't think I can pretend around him anymore," Minho takes a step closer to his friend but falters and stops awkwardly, not knowing how to voice his emotions correctly. Seungmin does have a point. For the last two months Minho and Hyunjin have barely talked, and if they did it was only through short texts. Up until now, Minho has looked on his side of the story, the fact that he has been trying to distance himself from Hyunjin. But was the younger doing just the same thing? "What did you say about Hyunjin ignoring me?"

Seungmin lets out a sound signaling his enjoyment but Minho can see it's not directed at him.

"Hyunjin is ignoring not only you but also _me_ ," Seungmin turns to Minho and crosses his arms over his chest. "I've been meaning to ask you about it anyway. Felix said Hyunjin is acting strangely since they got back. He has thrown himself into university work like his whole existence depends on some unimportant exams. He has also stopped coming to dance practices."

The last part makes Minho lean in closer like the distance would change the meaning behind Seungmin's words.

"He stopped dancing?" he asks and his voice sounds choked. Dancing has always been _their thing_. Did Minho somehow ruin it? Does Hyunjin _know_? " _Wait, you have Felix's number?_ "

Seungmin shrugs but Minho can't relax.

"I wanted to keep in touch, how are you surprised."

Indeed, how is he surprised?

"Can you give it to me?" he asks, an idea forming in his head.

"Felix's number?" Seungmin asks just to be sure and raises his eyebrows high when Minho simply nods.

Seungmin looks at Minho with skepticism in his eyes but seeing as he is such a good friend he gives up the number without complaining.

Minho plans to use it straight away but something stops him from sending Felix even a simple 'Hey'. All he can do is lay in the dark and stare at his phone screen.

Part of him is scared of the things Felix might tell him is he asks. The other part is scared Felix won't have any answers for him.

So for months Minho doesn't do anything about. Slowly he forgets about Felix's number sitting in his phone and then soon later he pushes Hyunjin's silence to the back of his brain too.

He still loves the younger but during the long months of silence Minho finally moves past his insecurities and when Hyunjin finally text him he welcomes it with a smile.

Some things never change and in this case it's Minho and Hyunjin and their friendship.

🍃🍃🍃

"Minho!" a loud voice stop Minho halfway through the door and he turns around to face his employer.

"Yes?" Minho runs over all his tasks for the day and wonders if maybe he has forgot something before changing back to his casual outfit. He looks up to the clock hanging on the wall. If he won't leave soon he will be late for his meeting with Jisung and Changbin.

"I've talked with other employees today because we will need to adjust some things starting in September. We need to rearrange everyone's positions," for a second Minho is worried because why would his employer talk with everyone but him. In Minho's brain, it means that he is probably getting fired but then there's a big smile on the older's face and Minho forgets about his meeting with Jisung and Changbin. He takes a step back into the room and closes the door behind him.

"I'm willing to work at any position sir," he says in a determined voice. Maybe this can be his big breakthrough moment, the time for his dreams to come true.

"I know that Minho. And that's why I think you will be a perfect dance instructor for the children."

Minho can't stop the smile that blooms on his face. It stays on while he eats with Jisung and Changbin who on the spot decide it calls for a celebration and drag him to the shop to buy soju.

"God I'm _drained_ ," Minho tells his empty apartment when he finally manages to escape his friends' optimism. He tosses his bag aside and grimaces when it hits something with a loud bang. It's impossible to tell what exactly happened because of the darkness but frankly, Minho doesn't care.

He cares though when his phone screen lights up with an unknown number. Minho frowns at the device in his hands and tries to decide if he is sober enough for a conversation with a stranger.

If anything, the alcohol makes him brave enough to pick up the call.

"Hello?" He asks into the silence and some background noise signaling that the caller is in a busy place. "I think you might have dialed the wrong number—"

"No, wait," the voice on the other end says and Minho freezes. It sounds almost familiar, like someone he knew a long time ago or maybe someone he has never talked on a phone with before. "It's me hyung. Lee Felix."

"Felix?" Minho breathes out and hurries to sit down. In one swift move he checks the screen to see that the number isn't the one Seungmin gave him months ago. "Did you change your numbers?"

More rustling in the background and a laugh.

"I did. Seungmin told me he gave it to you but that was ages ago so I thought you will never call after all," the younger's voice doesn't sound judging or hurt but what does Minho know. It was autumn with its colorful leaves and cold winds when he got Felix's number and now it's almost summer again. He hasn't thought how it must look for Felix and now he feels bad. They are friends after all. "So I decided to call you instead."

There it is again, that bright and happy voice that Minho remembers. He can almost feel Felix's smile through the phone.

"Are you coming back?" the words escape his mouth before he can really think them through. "Before the annual game?"

' _Or at all, really?_ '

He wonders how much has changed since the conversation he has had with Hyunjin last summer.

"Depends on when the game is," Felix's voice is teasing and Minho feels his shoulders relax. "Seungmin offered me a place to stay as soon as the semester ends and for as long as I'll need it before I find my own place but I need to finish up some business before I can leave."

Minho raises his eyebrows.

"You aren't getting a place with Hyunjin?"

A part of him is still wishing for the younger to be a permanent presence at his own house but he has made peace with the fact that it's not how their relationship is ever going to be.

"Hyunjin?" Felix laughs but it sounds only half genuine this time. It's like he wants to but something is stopping him and it doesn't sit well with Minho. Especially since it's Hyunjin they are talking about. "I guess Seungmin really didn't tell you after all."

Minho doesn't know what to say to that.

"Tell me hyung. Have you two ever dated?"

Minho tries to focus on something, anything. His gaze stops at the window and he observes the nightlife going on outside. Somewhere in this mess Jisung and Changbin are still partying, probably already too drunk to forget what they are supposed to be celebrating in the first place.

"We haven't," he answers, eyes still on the bright neons outside. "What has Hyunjin told you?"

A year ago Minho would have been maybe even glad to have this conversation. Now, he doesn't know what to say. Honesty is the answer. Probably.

"Nothing, I just figured something happened. I didn't know you back when we met and I kind of assumed I did because Hyunjin talked so much about you. But I only realized how biased his opinion was when we got back from Korea. He was hurting hyung and it took me _months_ to finally figure it out," Felix's voice sounds pained now, no more sunshine and rainbows. It hurts Minho to hear the younger like this. He doesn't even dwell on the meaning of Felix's words because Minho doesn't dare hope. "The image of you I had in my mind from Hyunjin's stories and the Minho I met weren't the same and not only because of a different perspective. I figured you must have history."

Minho wonders how he should tell this story to Felix. The first part and the one Felix is actually asking about is not his to tell.

"We never dated," he starts slowly. 'Honesty Minho, honesty,' the words bounce around his brain and he tried to focus. "I'm not going to lie and say I know what's going on in Hyunjin's brain because the more time passes the less I know him. But I can tell you for sure that we never dated."

That much is true. Their timing has been too far off and so they never met in the middle.

"Fair," Felix doesn't sound fully convinced. He probably believes Minho's words but has his own conclusions that Minho knows nothing about. "What about you hyung?"

"Me?" Minho wants to laugh. "Why does it matter? I'm not the one who you are in a relationship with, it should not matter how I feel about either of you."

Minho can clearly hear the desperation in his voice and how fake it all sounds. He just counts on Felix not knowing him well enough to notice or maybe the shitty connection to mask it the way it has so many times before with Hyunjin.

"Ah, I think it all makes sense," Felix sounds satisfied, like he got all the information he needed even if Minho's words cared no meaning at all. Maybe it really was all the emotions hidden between the lines that gave him away. "But I'm not in a relationship with him too. Not anymore. We broke up about a month ago."

Minho closes his eyes and tries to grasp what it all means but his brain refuses to believe Felix's words.

"Why?"

"I guess we both found what we needed somewhere else," Felix says.

Minho wonders, for a moment, if maybe this story has a chance to end with a happy ever after after all for both him and Seungmin. But then he remembers all the pain and heartache of last summer and he falls apart bit by bit.

Will Hyunjin's comeback hurt so much again? And will the heartbreak be worth it, in the end?

🍃🍃🍃

Hyunjin slips back into Minho's life the way he always does. At first, it's strange and Minho can't get used to his constant companion but then he forgets Hyunjin even left.

He even almost forgets about his conversation with Felix. Almost.

It's easy to ignore the elephant in the room when Hyunjin pretends it doesn't exists too.

It's fine for a few days maybe even weeks because Minho feels better with his feelings now.

So the annual hide and seek game comes and goes, this time ending in Felix's victory.

They all watch Felix run to Seungmin and envelope him in a tight hug which the other reciprocates it enthusiastically.

"They fit so well," Minho whispers to himself and remembers his talk with Felix. The younger has said something about finding what he really needed _somewhere else_. Could it really be that easy?

Minho looks to Hyunjin at his side. His eyes are on the pair still but Minho doesn't find anything of what he expected to find in them.

It's been months since his and Felix's break up but Minho still expected to see at least a shadow of sadness.

Maybe moving on is easier if your lives aren't tangled up together to the point where it's hard to recall any memories without the other person. Minho is sure that if he searched hard enough he would find them but the problem is he doesn't want to.

Each day Minho grows closer to the inevitable truth that he can't keep living like this. Not only are his emotions a heavy cloud hovering over them, ready to break at any moment but Minho finally understands why Hyunjin has confessed to him at all.

It's impossible to hold everything in especially as Minho grows to realize that, maybe, it is time for him to move on just like Hyunjin has done years ago.

"I'm going to talk to Hyunjin," he tells Seungmin one day when they are getting back from the bitch, the sun setting behind their backs already because the autumn is stilling minutes from the day one by one. It's not the season of colorful leaves yet but Minho realizes just how much time has passed since the summer started and his resolve hardens. "I think it's finally the right time."

"Talk about what?" the younger asks him with a doubtful look in his eyes.

"Everything," Minho's voice stays confident for the rest of the conversation but as more days go by and his meeting with Hyunjin scheduled for a Friday night gets closer, the bravery he has felt started to disappear.

By the end of the week, when Hyunjin finally knocks on the door, Minho finds it hard to stop shaking.

"Hyung, are you okay?" the younger notices something is off with him imminently, of course. Minho doesn't know what he expected.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

' _Lair, liar,_ ' his brain sings and judging by the expression on Hyunjin's face he doesn't believe the weak words either.

"I feel like something's been bothering you. Not just now but before too. I've seen it from the moment I stepped out of the plane last summer but maybe it's been there even before that, I can't tell," Hyunjin comes closer and Minho's heart stops at his damp from the rain hair. It's hard to surpass the urge to run his fingers through the soft locks especially now. Of all the times. "Just tell me what is it hyung. We can't read in each other's heads no matter how much we like to pretend we do. I care and I want to help but I can't when you're keeping it all inside and it's eating you alive. I hate it."

There had been so many moments in which Minho has thought 'ah I've never loved him more than now' but right now he thinks it's all been wrong all along.

No yelling of the sea or no laughter can compare to the quiet words that make Minho want to spill out all of his darkest secrets.

For once, he doesn't want his confessions to be stolen by the wind or just up there, in the breeze, when the younger can't reach them.

"I'm in love with you," he says loudly enough for Hyunjin to hear. It's probably not necessary seeing as the room is completely quiet anyway save for Minho's heartbeat and Hyunjin's even breathing.

Needless to say, that even breathing stops as soon as the words leave Minho's lips and the meaning behind them dawns on Hyunjin.

"No," the younger whispers and closes his eyes. "It can't be."

"Talk about timing, right?" Minho lets out a shaky breath. He can still feel his hands running nervously along his legs and there's a lump in his throat which makes it difficult to speak but he pushes on to fill the silence. "I didn't want to bother you when you came back, there was no point."

"Bother me?" Hyunjin looks up at him as if Minho suddenly grew another head. The gaze lasts for a few seconds before he turns his head and focuses on something else behind Minho's shoulder. "I can't believe you would say it after all we went through. Your feelings are as important as mine."

"What would be the point anyways? I missed my chance."

"You didn't want me back then," Hyunjin's eyes are open wide in disbelief like he is seeing Minho for the first time in years.

Maybe he is, Minho thinks. Maybe up until this point they have both been chasing after something unreachable.

It's the look in Hyunjin's eyes that make him realize how much wrong they both were.

"Hyunjin why did you come back?" Minho asks in a small voice. He is scared that if speaks any louder he might break whatever line if understanding that's between them now.

"I—" Hyunjin pauses for a moment in which his eyes focus back on reality and he turns them back to Minho. He looks so scared of what Minho might have to say, that the older wants to reach out. Only he can't. He has hurt Hyunjin before and now he has to hold back. "I missed you hyung."

"I'm not the same person you left here and you're not the same person who confessed to me," Minho _knows_ that Hyunjin isn't as stupid as to fall back to him just because it's easy and available but part of him is afraid of the look in Hyunjin's eyes. "We will never be the same people we were back then."

"Isn't that good?"

"I don't know," Minho looks at his friend and wonders where this conversation is going. Part of him feels like maybe this story has a happy ending in store for him after all. He just doesn't know if it's the one he craves so desperately or if it's just Hyunjin's friendship that he will keep.

"God, I've tried to convince myself I've found everything I've been looking for in Felix. He's perfect, right hyung? How can you not love him?" Hyunjin's voice shakes a little but he gives Minho a smile.

"I don't know. But I think Seungmin does. Does love him," his voice sounds almost distant. He thinks back to all the times he has seen Seungmin with Felix recently and he is sure he still recognizes the look on his friend's face. It's the same one he has been giving Hyunjin when the younger wasn't looking. But he _is_ looking now.

"Maybe," Hyunjin's face relaxes for a moment. "I guess I can see it. Yet—"

Minho feels his heartbeat painfully in his chest. He can almost feel the ocean salt on his tongue if he focuses hard enough on it instead of Hyunjin and his words. 

This is the moment in which the younger can hurt him the most.

It's almost ironic how closely it resembles that day almost four years ago when Minho broke Hyunjin's heart. Even the room's walls are still the same color as they were when he caught Hyunjin scrambling for words over a blue colored paper in the middle of the night.

"Yet, I still love _you_."

The silence stretches and Minho doesn't know how much time passes between Hyunjin's words reaching his ears and his heart picking up speed. The dark corners of his mind try to take control of him and just tell Hyunjin it's impossible for him to still love Minho after all those years.

It's this what he has wanted all along?

"Hyunjin..." he starts but never finishes because he doesn't know what the ending is supposed to sound like. It probably should be somewhere close to tears or maybe a happy smile yet...

"Minho," Hyunjin's voice is filled with the same vulnerability Minho feels in his heart. "Back when we were children you... you weren't real. And then again, when you left for America. And then again, when I was the one who left. You weren't real. Felix was something I could reach out and grasp easily and he became some kind of a fixation of mine while trying to move on. I'm not saying I never loved him but it's wasn't..."

"What you were looking for. I know, Felix told me," Minho feels most of his insecurities retreat to their place at the back of his head. They aren't gone, maybe never will no matter how much he wants them to be. But maybe it's time to stop pretending and trying to be all those versions of Minho that don't exist for Hyunjin's sake yes, but most importantly, his own. "I think we are the worst case of timing I've ever heard of. The perfect mix of lies and truths."

Hyunjin smiles at him and the familiar sparkle shines in the darkness. It makes Minho smile back and he hopes that whatever Hyunjin sees in his eyes makes him happy too.

"Say it one more time. It feels like I've waited an eternity."

Minho laughs.

"I love you," he whispers next to Hyunjin's ear.

"I love you too."

Maybe they both have waited for far too long.

🍃🍃🍃

" _Why_ am I helping you again?" Hyunjin doesn't even try to be careful as he passes out next to Minho. The older of the two grimaces at the loud sound Hyunjin's body makes as it meets with the hard floor of the practice room. Then Minho rolls his eyes.

"Because you're an amazing boyfriend?" his voice is falsely sweet and Hyunjin lifts up a hand and makes a gesture which makes absolutely no sense. "You know I can't read your mind right? What was _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It was supposed to mean that if I'm gonna be late one more time they will fire me for sure," Hyunjin's words sound dramatic but his tone doesn't match the narrative. It's been about two months since he has landed a job in the local research center and meanwhile, it sounds extremely stressful, Minho has never seen Hyunjin happier about work.

"As if."

Minho gets up again and jogs to his laptop to play the song again.

"Come one, I can't believe you really forgot half of the choreography," he shots a look at his boyfriend who's still lying on the floor, long black hair escaping from a ponytail he has made just before they started practicing half an hour ago.

"I can't believe you made me agree to perform Spring Day again for a bunch of kids," Hyunjin finally gets up and dutifully gets into position.

"It's the kids what made you agree," he smirks when Hyunjin's gaze lands on him. "...And maybe also the fact that everyone else will be there. Do you really want to prove Felix you're the better dancer?"

"I'm not," Hyunjin says and Minho presses play.

First notes of Spring Day are enough to transport him back to their beginner days. There are not nearly as many mistakes now and Minho sees the beauty in their smooth movies.

Hyunjin is like water as he moves through the routine with focused eyes and a slight smile on his lips.

It's been like this for the last few days of the summer and the whole autumn. The two of them against the world and occasionally, their friends who even threw them a 'congratulations on getting together (it totally didn't take you years!)' party. Usually, Minho would argue but the sight of Seungmin's proud smile and Felix's hand in his made the words die down on his tongue.

Now it's winter and the temperature outside makes it hard to breathe sometimes.

Minho supposes it could be worse seeing as he has Hyunjin's with him to hold hands to get warmer when he needs it.

The music flows slowly to the rhythm of the snowflakes outside. It trembles, and then it's the chorus and all Minho can focus on are Hyunjin's lips.

"Minho?" is all the younger manages to get out before they collide and Minho stabilizes them fast enough so they don't fall to the floor.

"Sorry, my bad," he says and bursts into laughter at the way Hyunjin raises his eyebrows.

"What's got you so distracted that you forgot the moves?" he asks with fake seriousness. "What's on your mind?"

"You," Minho simply says and leans in.

Minho meets Hyunjin when the younger is ten and he is twelve, and it gets complicated pretty fast.

Now, however, when he is twenty-five and Hyunjin is twenty-three and nothing has ever been simpler.

All those years might have been a rollercoaster but in the end, it's all worth it.

"You're on my mind too,” Hyunjin’s breath tickles Minho’s cheek. “Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> And thats all for today from me~
> 
> If you wanna try your hand at guessing then do and if not and u wanna know who i am then come back and check later hehe~
> 
> Kudos and comments keep me going
> 
> Thank you for reading<3


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